yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
