BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
