My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
