We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just want nice things and good sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
