Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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