let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
