im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
