I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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