Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
