I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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