My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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