is your mom at the bar?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
