just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
