Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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