So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
