What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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