You work out of a Hotel?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
