The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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