I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
