Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
