I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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