I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
