the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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