9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
