There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
