just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
