Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
