I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize