yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
