sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
as a side note pls kill me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
