pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
