Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
