ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
id be glad to
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize