Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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