Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
