one two three fourrrrnication!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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