once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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