You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
