As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just pee around me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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