wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize