I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
