susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
