3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
