can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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