I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
