just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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