No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
