Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
