glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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