Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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