I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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