even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
